Standing There

“Don’t just do something. Stand there.”

I feel like that could be my life motto.

While I am thankful for the various jobs I’ve had throughout the years, the core of who I am is contemplative.

I could stand, or sit, and think, read, pray, study and write a couple hours every day.

To be in that secret place of acceptance with my Heavenly Father, to commume with Him, to gaze at the blueness of the September sky, to work in the garden, to take walks, be with family and friends, to live life.

I do work and I work hard. I am a little ‘worker bee’. There are many parts of me, two of them specifically which clash and clash often. The contemplative part and the worker part.

I like being still and quiet. I love studying the Bible, meditating on Scripture, praying, being with fellow believers, gazing at the beauty around me.

I like working. Work and a job are two different things. Working on a personal project is usually fulfiling and satisfying. Working at my job, well, I do what my boss tells me to do and for the most part I enjoy it, but it’s not self-directed, it has to be done. There’s not much room for ‘standing there’.

But as I’m working at my job, what needs to be done, my soul is longing to be outside, lying on a blanket in the soft green grass, gazing at the blue sky, or up at tree branches, feeling the gentle breeze on my skin, hearing the birds calling to one another, me, resting, quietly, contented, peaceful, happy (Of course, add a book, a journal, the Bible and a bottle of water or tea and then I’m really good).

The actual moments when I am outdoors enjoying the grass, sky and bird calls are few and far between, at least that’s how it feels as of late. When I do get my contemplative time it feels brief and fleeting. But I guess that makes it all the more precious.

How can I add more contemplative time to my schedule?

By saying NO to other things…

It’s a start.