Missing Piece

I’ve been processing things (ie, life) with a therapist.

With a lot going on inside me and my overwhelm with things outside of me (Job, biz, family, volunteering, marriage, etc) having time to process all of these things with someone who has a outside perspective is incredibly helpful.

Today, feeling very stuck and at a dead-end in a way with fertility issues and my job/biz.

I always feel that if I didn’t have a ‘job’ that I would be happier. This is what I have been processing with the therapist.

So we talked about this. Is it true? WOULD I just be happier if all I had to do was my biz and art stuff???? She asked why didn’t I just do that?

And I told her that I had done that for three years (When I was first starting my biz) and there was still this sense of purposelessness.

(I talk a lot about being purposeful and purposefulness and I try to live that out, but sometimes there’s still a sense of purposelessness in my life that I struggle through. Being real here).

My therapist mentioned that it sounded like there was a missing piece. Yes, I want to create and make and have that be what I DO, but when I did that (And a lot has changed since then, mind you, I’m not in the same place) there was still this sense of a loss of calling. I was doing ‘what I wanted to do’, but it wasn’t satisfying. Or it was, but only for a time (Till I realized how hard business was. I say that tongue-in-cheek).

What was that missing piece? That was her question for me.

My answer?

Community.

Community is the missing piece. Community is the missing piece.

Sure, I was online often, FB biz groups or some Zoom meetings (Pre-COVID, FYI) and I learned a lot, I was doing social media, trying to connect with people…but it was all, or mostly all…virtual.

I missed community. In-person, face-to-face community.

Yes, I had my husband, but he worked during the day. Yes, I had my extended family, but I didn’t live with them. Yes, I had friends, but I didn’t see them everyday and I didn’t live with them (Probably a good thing). Yes, I had my church, but that seemed to be regulated to Sunday mornings and one night a week.

I missed community in the sense of ‘We’re all working toward a common goal’. Like co-workers (Uh, in-person co-workers I may have to add). So, I got a job (And then quit that and got another part-time job)

My question is: HOW DO I have in-person community in regards to my art and creativity?

The therapist even mentioned that if I had kids and was a stay-at-home mom I would still need that in-person community and support system.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

If I was a stay-at-home mom and ran a small art biz, all doing things I love and enjoy, I WOULD STILL NEED in-person community.

Missing piece. We are wired for community. We need each other. Like, in-person, face-to-face need each other. It is satisfying and fulfilling and purposeful.