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Sudden Ideas

During my recent quarantine I got a lot of reading done, including some easy-to-read childhood favorites.

One of those books was ‘Ramona Quimby, Age 8’ by Beverly Cleary. I’ve always been a big fan of Cleary’s simple, engaging and down-to-earth style and I found the Ramona books were as much enjoyable now as when I read them as a kid (Probably even more so and I could read them much faster too, haha).

I came across this quote and had to share with you:

“Ramona went to her room and looked at her table, which the family called, ‘Ramona’s studio,’ because it was a clutter of crayons, different kinds of paper, Scotch tape, bits of yarn, and odds and ends that Ramona used for amusing herself. Then Ramona thought a moment, and suddenly, filled with inspiration, she went to work. She knew exactly what she wanted to do and set about doing it. She worked with paper, crayons, Scotch tape, and rubber bands. She worked so hard and with such pleasure that her cheeks grew pink. Nothing in the whole world felt as good as being able to make something from a sudden idea.” (emphasis added)

I love that.

‘Nothing in the whole world felt as good as being able to make something from a sudden idea’.

Now, as adults, it is much harder to find the time and/or space to put an idea to work immediately, but oh, what fun when you can!

I experienced this several weeks back when I had an idea for a book cover series (As mentioned in this post) and was able to work on it almost immediately. And it gave me such joy to do so.

Sometimes when I an idea just sits there, in our brain, in our mind, in our head, it can lead to frustration for the artist — ‘I have to get this out before it drives me bonkers!’. I know this happens to me a lot (Mainly for lack of time, ie, Day job and adulting). Does anyone else experience this?

I really do want to know.

Does anyone else experience this? An idea that sits in your head and drives you nuts until it comes out creatively?

Since I’ve been back at work this week, I’ve hit the ground running after quarantine, I haven’t had much time, if any, to work on bookbinding or aromatherapy, and I feel like I’m back to the frustration aspect of being a creative soul with lots of ideas that I don’t have time (Or is it discipline? Well, this week it’s definitely been time) to work on.

I can’t let that hold me back though. I can’t let frustration hold me back from doing something I love. Time may be a hinderance, but does frustration have to be?

What are some ideas you have that you’d like to make more time for?

Can I give you a challenge?

The next time you have a ‘sudden idea’ stop whatever else you may be doing and put the idea to work immediately. Not practical? Who said ideas and art were practical? Oh, and while you’re working on the ‘sudden idea’, have fun. 😉

Noticed

Do we do what we do to in order to be noticed?

Do I post on IG/FB in order to be noticed?

Do I have a creative biz in order to be noticed?

Do I have an Etsy acct in order to be noticed?

Do I write a blog in order to be noticed?

I think the answer to all to all is Yes.

Why else would we do it?

If no one noticed our efforts, creatively or not, would we still do it?

What gives meaning and purpose to what we do, creatively?

Why do we do what we do?

Maybe the answer is, ‘In order to be noticed’.

Why do we want to be noticed?

Why do we want others to think that what we do is something special, or out of the ordinary, or somehow better than what others (in the same field) do?

Validation, affirmation, purpose, a sense of belonging, meaning, that what we do is somehow worthwhile — all those can be reasons why we want to be noticed.

Lately I’ve been thinking that the reason, or one main reason, that I want to be noticed, is so that I can earn a living doing something I enjoy doing. If people notice me, wouldn’t they offer me a job in XYZ field doing ABC? If someone notices me, would my business take off? If someone notices me and my creative efforts, would the networking and connections happen and I’d be somewhat happier in what I do every day? If someone notices me, my blog, my IG feed, my FB posts, my LinkedIn profile or whatever digital platform I happen to be on, then maybe all my dreams of working in a creative field will come true. At this point, I’m posting my handbound journals on my personal FB page (And other platforms) because I want family/friends/strangers to know that they’re there and that they’re availble for sale and WOULD you PLEASE buy ONE? (Or at the least like my shop). Yes, I want to be noticed.

Yes, I want to be noticed.

Don’t we all?

Why are YOU doing what you do? What is your reason for wanting to be noticed? Why are you trying to gain followers? What are you hoping will happen? Why do you post on your SM platform of choice?

I want to invite you to post in the comments and I’d love to know your answer to this question: What are you hoping people will notice about your creative endeavors? Feel free to post links or pictures, I’d love to see what you’re doing and what you’re hoping will come through it.

Things You Love

Paul McCartney is a singer, songwriter, musician, entertainer and performer.

No one would argue with that. EVER.

Because that’s what he is.

It’s more so than what he does, it’s ingrained in him. It’s part of WHO he is.

Paul McCartney can’t help but write, record, sing, play music, tour and perform.

It’s who he is.

He can ‘t help it.

He does it because that’s what’s he’s done for decades and that what he LOVES.

He does it because he loves it. He writes because he can’t help it. He sings because he can’t help it. He tours because he loves it. He records music because he loves it.

It’s who he is, what he loves, what he does and what gives him pleaure. It’s who God created him to be.

I believe God gives each one of us talents and gifts that give us, and HIM, pleasure.

We’re stepping into our God given destiny and potential when we do these things (Not just think about them! Although we do that too. It’s where the creative outflow starts. An idea. Whether that idea looks practically ouside our head than in it is another story).

As Eric Liddel says in the movie ‘Chariots of Fire’, ‘When I run I feel His pleasure’.

YES.

What is it, that when you do it, you feel the pleasure of God over your life?

What is it that you love doing? That you can’t help doing? What gives you pleasure, delight and joy?

We can’t all be Paul McCartney, and that’s really ok, because God does give us ALL talents, gifts and things that we love doing.

My challenge to you this week is is make time to do those things you love. And revel in God’s delight as you do them.

Successes and Wins

Remember I mentioned in this post, that I was going to put more effort into actually DOING things I loved instead of wasting time on boring admin stuff?

Yep!

Well, since coming back from vacay, I HAVE.

I’ve now completed three cute little travel size books in what I’m now terming my Celestial Collection…!

Yay!!!! Success!

Success to me is actually DOING IT.

So what if anyone BUYS it…or likes it on IG or hearts it on Etsy…

I did it and it is a big personal accomplishment to me.

It makes me happy!

I did something, and AM doing something, that I love and that makes me happy and is a big deal for me.

What projects have YOU been working on that are a big success and win for you?

Flourishing

In another post I gave some recommendations; one of those recommendations was the Makers and Mystics Podcast. The moderator of the podcast, a man named Stephen Roach, has this to say (From his Patreon site) about branching out in his artistic development.

“For the past 12 years, I have owned and operated a window cleaning business while simultaneously toured with a band, recorded albums, wrote and self-published books, and traveled internationally as a public speaker on art and faith.
The window cleaning business was my way of supporting my family until my creative ventures consistently provided for our needs.
Ironically, it was the window cleaning business which flourished while my art continued to fluctuate between feast and famine. The increasing demands of the business made it difficult to juggle both worlds until eventually, I had to choose. Would I be a “hobbyist” with my creative passions or would I forsake the comfort of convention and take a leap into the unknown? You are reading these words because I chose to take the leap.”

‘Ironically, it was the window cleaning business which flourished…’

Have you ever felt that way?

Like, you do something because, as in Stephen’s case, you need to support your family, and it flourishes, while your passion projects, the things you REALLY love, the things you WANT to make a living at, languish?

I know I have.

I could have a bang-up cleaning business, while my bookbinding, aromatherapy and creative projects get pushed to the side day after day after day after day after…

I’ll work on them here and there and do a some farmer’s markets and shows wih my body care biz…but do they flourish? Ruministics pays for itself, but does it flourish? Does my Etsy shop flourish?

Not really…despite valiant efforts and dogged determination. But I’m working on it (more dogged determination!).

Maybe you’re like Stephen, and need to take a leap of faith and let go of the flourishing, boring side-biz and make your passion projects your real thing.

Who knows, but maybe this is the year to go for it.

Choosing

‘Satan’s greatest psychological weapon is a gut level feeling of inferiority and inadequacy. This feeling shackles many Christians in spite of wonderful spiritual experiences and knowledge of God’s Word. Although they understand their positions as sons and daughters of God, they are tied in knots, bound by a terrible feeling of inferiority and chained to a deep sense of worthlessness.” – David Seamonds

‘…tied in knots, bound by a terrible feeling of inferiority and chained to a deep sense of worthlessness’.

‘Tied in knots…’

‘Bound by a terrible feeling of inferiority…”

‘Chained to a deep sense of worthlessness…”

This resounds in me so deeply.

I feel like this quote just about sums up my spiritual walk.

‘…inferiority’…

‘…inadequacy’…

I know that I have had many wonderful spiritual experiences and do understand my position as a daughter of God, but often times feel beat down, defeated and yes, worthless.

These feelings, this defeatedness, feelings of worthlessness, inferiority and inadequacy ARE keeping me bound, tied and shackled.

Now, and I know this has been a depressing post thus far, this has NOT ALWAYS defined my Christian walk, faith or life.

I have had many, many, many times of joyful communion with my Fafther in heaven, seasons of richness, intimacy, beauty, peace, growth, trust…seasons of spiritual breakthrough, personal times of contemplation of His great love, faithfulness and blessings in my life, times of prayer and thankfulness for Who He is and what He’s done for me.

But I seem to come back to feelings of worthlessness and inferiority often. And I feel bound by them in many ways.

And it’s holding me back from what I believe can be an even more rich, abundant and fulfilling life in the Kingdom of God from what I’ve already experienced.

The question is HOW? How do I stop this cycle of feeling worthless, or struggling with guilt and shame and condemnation?

It’s in Jesus’ once and for all sacrifice; choosing to believe that He did take all my guilt and shame away with His perfect offering.

Choosing to remember what He’s done for me every day.

There was a situation earlier this week when I made a mistake…and I had the choice:

I could wallow in self-negativity, punishing myself with guilt, condemnation and shame, choosing to live in the fear of man and what others think of me and not what God thinks of me

I could accept the fact that He has covered all my mistakes by His sacrifice, that He has taken away all my guilt, shame and feelings of worthlessness, inadqueacy and inferiority and that I DON’T HAVE to punish myself…I can choose to let my mistake (And all the guilty feelings associated with it) go…and choose to enjoy the peace of mind that God is not condemning me over any fault, failing or action that I have done. That He sees me perfect and righteous, not because of anything I have done or will do, but because of what He has done.

I had to wrestle with this choice. I really did.

I ended up choosing the latter.

And so, have been able to move forward this week; spiritually, creatively, personally.

It’s not always easy. Sometimes we need to wretle. Sometime we choose the wrong thing; but there’s grace in it all.

And I really believe that by daily choosing HIM, I can break cycles of negativity in my life, and move on feeling hopeful, adequate and worthwhile. Amen.

Pleasure

The past couple days I’ve been at home, mostly.

Yesterday in the morning I finished a wholesale order for my body care co, dropped it off and ran a couple errands (social distance style). My plan for the afternoon was to work on social media scheduling and getting a newsletter out. Both biz stuff I needed to do.

I couldn’t focus on either one. So what did I do instead?

Make books.

I have a couple book series that I’m working on now, my Light series and my new Celestial collection.

I automatically turned to my book projects instead of working on boring biz stuff.

Why?

One is probably because I’m a craftsman at heart — a maker, a doer, working with my hands, love seeing a project come together, love seeing a finished work. It’s in my artist’s heart and DNA. Sitting at a computer trying to come up with SM copy is not my forte.

It’s just what I do.

Secondly, it gives me pleasure.

And standing there, working on my little travel-size books, I had peace.

No more angst about ‘What to post on SM’ or ‘What am I going to put in my next newsletter?’ or ‘What Black Fri/Sm Biz Sat/Cyber Mon sale should I do this year?’ or ‘I’m not a photographer!’.

It was peaceful. I was focused. I was doing what I specifically, Hannah Hon, was created to do.

This morning I woke up about 6:30ish. I needed to get up; to move, rehydrate myself, get a cup of tea, spend some alone time with Jesus; so I did, while my husband took full advantage of a Saturday morning with nowhere to go (ie, slept in).

After my waking up moments and second cup of tea, I went straight to my book projects.

Why? Because I take pleasure in doing it. It makes me happy. It’s not work to me. It’s enjoyable. The whole process, from beginning to end, from choosing fabric, to cutting it, to cutting the fusible webbing, to gluing on Davey boards, from choosing buttons and ribbons and end papers, to sewing it all together…it’s enjoyable. I’d say my least favorite part is probably cutting the book block (Simply because I haven’t invested in an industrial paper cutter. I have no idea where I’d put it), but overall, I love it. It’s a source of joy for me.

My informal definition of pleasure would be doing what makes you excited, what is enjoyable for you, what gives you peace, comfort, joy, happiness or a sense of purpose. That sweet spot where you lose yourself; that place of self-forgetfulness. Where you forget everything around you and get lost in the moment.

What gives YOU pleasure?

What is that for you?

It can be anything, creative or not. It can be several things, or just one.

For me, it’s several. Dancing, cooking, bookbinding, walking, writing.

These are all highly therapeutic for me too.

Yesterday and today I found that not only working on my book projects was pleasurable, but also very therapeutic for my soul.

My challenge to you today is to make time for something that gives you pleasure.

Fitting In

I feel like I’m forever trying to fit in.

Fit in with society. Where do I belong?

It seems a constant question throughout my life.

I feel like I’m forever trying to fit in.

And it’s not happening.

My friend group has alwasy been small. I’m an introvert, someone who has lots of acquaintances, but few friends. And that’s ok, right? There are lot of people who have that.

There are, on the flip side, people who think EVERYONE is their friend…not necessarily bad…we need both.

I feel like I’m forever trying to fit in.

Where do I fit in with my job? Career? I want to be and do so many things. When I cleaned houses I wanted to be a receptionist at a massage studio. When I actually was a receptionist at a massage studio I wanted to be a housewife. When I was a housewife I was stressed because I wasn’t making much money…now that I have a job I want to go back to being a housewife (And running a business).

And sometimes I just want to say, ‘Screw it all. I’m deleting my SM accts, quitting my job, closing my business, closing my Etsy shop, selling my possessions and moving to a cabin in the woods and being a hermit.”

I don’t kow if my husband would agree to that though. Haha.

There’s a lot of pressure to fit in…with friend groups, career, society…having the right possessions, the right career, the right house, the right husband, the right kids (Um…not sure how that’s possible…)

I’ve always felt different though. Like I don’t fit in. Like I’m just different.

As Arby’s would suggest, “Different is Good”.

I just want to be OK with who God made me to be. And to a point, I am. I think we all wrestle through this sometimes in our lives.

I’ve always been ok with how I’ve looked. I know a lot of people struggle with looks…wishing their face was a different shape, or curly hair vs straight, or blonde vs brown…none of that bothers me. I’m ok with my body. I LIKE my body (Although sometimes I wish my hair actually looked brushed. I can brush it and five mins later it looks like I haven’t touched it for hours)

I think it’s more my funny, introvert, sometimes super awkward personality, sense of humor, my interests, etc that make me feel like I don’t fit in. I’ve never been trendy.

And maybe it’s that very much lack of trendiness and could-care-less about current events or what’s hot right now that makes me feel like I don’t fit in.

I don’t know. I’m just pondering all this, writing it all out. Maybe I’ll never come to any answers. Who knows. It’s just something I struggle with.

Hard Season

We all know that 2020 has been a hard year.

I’m not saying I’ve had it worse or better than anyone else.

Thus far my husband and I have been free of COVID and I don’t know of any family or friend who has passed away from it. Thanking God here.

My husband though, has been furloughed (In name only) since April. He’s been around the house mostly, keeping busy with household chores (groceries, vacuuming, making dinner, banking, etc) and a few clients from work. And that’s all fine. And helplful to me. The tables turned quickly this year. Up until February of this year I was at home, being a housewife and running a small business. February we bought a house and I got a part time job. April comes and Adam was furloughed.

I’m still working…and running a business…and trying to get an Etsy shop off the ground…and volunteering one day a week…and helping my mom go through some of her belongings…and hosting a church small group once a week….and trying to get pregnant through a fertility treatment…and cleaning on the side…and blogging…plus trying to not ignore my Bible reading, church, new house, friends or husband.

It’s a lot.

I feel it’s always a lot though, with me.

I goes in a cycle. I have too much on my plate, so I pare down, then I don’t have anything to do so I add things in, then it’s too much so I pare down, then I don’t have anything to do so I add other things, then it’s too much so I pare down…it’s a vicious cycle. It really is.

So now I’m in the too much mode.

This thought has occurred to me recently, several times. ‘You don’t know how hard a season is until you’re out of that season.’

You don’t know how hard a season is until you’re out of it.

You don’t know how hard a season is…

Because I feel like I’m TRYING to be positive, TRYING to live somewhat normally (even with masks, social distancing, things getting canceled, etc), TRYING to keep a happy attitude towards life and everything I have going on. The reality is, I’m kind of exhausted and THIS IS HARD.

This is a really hard season of life that I, and probably everyone else, is going through.

I wish my husband would/could get a job, or go back to his old one.

I wish we could just have a baby without fertility treatment.

I wish my Etsy shop would get off the ground and that I had more time to make journals.

I wish my business made enough money to support us so I don’t have to have an outside job.

There are so many things that I think would make this all better.

And yes, some of it might, some of it might not.

I feel like I want my life back. Introvert time, time to dream, time to journal, process, think…to read a book, browse at the library, take a walk at the park and not have any time commitments…I feel like I’m always around someone — co-workers, small group, husband, family — someone that needs me, or wants my attention…and I’m just exhausted and this is hard.

I don’t want this post to seem like I’m complaining. I am blessed; the fact that I have a husband, job, house, and am even able to DO a fertility treatment…all blessings.

But sometimes balancing all these things is just hard.

You don’t know how hard a season is…